Back on the Drugs

Well the time has finally come for me to go back on those dreaded fertility drugs! I'm surprised this time at how much it has not effected me this far. Saying that it has only been one week since I started taking them. I did have a moment in the Temple the other night where the tears just wouldn't stop flowing and for no particular reason. Then a little bit of an angry moment a few nights ago, but besides that its been surprisingly much better this time. I am still getting the hot flashes and the other crummy side effects that come along with taking Clomid but its not something I can't handle.  This time instead of not being monitored I actually will be going in to see my midwife within three weeks of starting. I feel much more comfortable with this as I know there can be some nasty side effects sometimes from taking these and she's actually there to make sure that I really ovulate, and not "pretend ovulate" :D
I'm in no way excited to be back at what I feel is square one (back on the drugs) but now we can actually move on from our loss and who knows we might even end up with a nice little sticky bean. I don't look forward to tests and drug side effects and becoming a Clomid monster. I do look forward to finding out what is causing our struggles and hopefully finding a way to either fix them or deal with them as best we can. I am also very much looking forward to holding our dear, sweet gift from our Heavenly Father, and hopefully we'll be able to do that before this time next year!